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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054992">1</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lame_Writer/pseuds/Lame_Writer'>Lame_Writer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Abandonment issues [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alone, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Romance, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Eddie Kaspbrak, Attack, Attempted Kidnapping, Being Jumped, Ben Hanscom Has Body Image Issues, Beverly Marsh &amp; Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Beverly Marsh Loves Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Boys In Love, Brusies, Bullied Beverly Marsh, Bullied Eddie Kaspbrak, Bullied Richie Tozier, Bullying, Camping, Car Sex, Character Death, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Cigarettes, Comfort, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Crying, Cute, Cutesy, Daddy Issues, Dark, Dark Comedy, Dark Past, Death, Depressed Richie Tozier, Depression, Developing Friendships, Dies in nightmare, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dorks in Love, Drama, Drama &amp; Romance, Drug Use, Dysfunctional Family, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Good Friend, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Little Shit, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Tease, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake Pills, Falling In Love, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fights, Fire, First Crush, First Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Frustration, Gay, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Rights, Gay Sex, Gazebos, Hand Jobs, Handcuffed Together, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, Henry Bowers Lives, Henry Bowers is His Own Warning, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homophobic Sonia Kaspbrak, Horny, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecurity, Insomnia, Internalized Homophobia, Kidnapping, Lemon, Losers Club Is Bullied, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Medicine, Memories, Men Crying, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Henry Bowers, Mentioned Henry Bowers's Gang, Mommy Issues, Movie Night, Movie: IT (2017), Mutual Pining, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Pain, Panic, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Paranoid, Paranoid Richie Tozier, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Problems, Protective Losers Club (IT), Public Hand Jobs, Random Attacks, Random Encounters, Reddie, Relationship Problems, Repressed Memories, Repressed Sexual Fantasies, Resolved Sexual Tension, Restless, Richie Tozier &amp; Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie Tozier Has Body Image Issues, Richie Tozier Has PTSD, Richie Tozier Has Panic Attacks, Richie Tozier Has a Big Dick, Richie Tozier Has a Crush on Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is oblivious, Richie Tozier's Internalized Homophobia, Romance, Screaming, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sex, Sex Dream, Sexual, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Shame, Shameless Smut, Sleepovers, Slow To Update, Smoking, Smut, Sobbing, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Steamy, Strained Friendships, Struggle, Sugar Pills, Suicidal Tendencies, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Summer, Supportive Losers Club (IT), Swimming, Swimming Pools, Teasing, The Losers Club Are Good Friends (IT), This Will Go Everywhere, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Richie Tozier, Trouble, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unpredictable, Urges, Wet Dream, Yelling, alone time, argument, drugged, heated, jumped, night out, otp, puke, puking, r+e, sensitive, struggles, tease, turned on, wet dreams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lame_Writer/pseuds/Lame_Writer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Abandonment issues [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of a crackling fire mixing with the crickets chirp of sounds and the light breeze that went through the losers. All of them were by a campfire, of course this scared the small boy Eddie as he clings onto his cocky friend, the one and only Richie Tozier. </p><p>"Eds, remind me again why your clinging onto my arm like you'll die if you don't?" Richie teased, Eddie sucking in a quick breath before speaking, his grip only getting tighter on the others arm as he spoke. </p><p>"Well for your information, I'm just worried about my safety ! This has nothing to do with you, trash mouth" he grumbled as his eyes were fixated on the bright blaze of heat and power that laid tamed in front of the small group. The others already long asleep, the stars dim glow along with the thin strips of the moons rays hitting the trees like beautiful works of art on display in front of the two. Unconsciously Eddie nuzzles closer to Richie, comforted by the scent of him, his warmth shared with him, he loved it all. Soon Richie suddenly fell backwards, his back hitting the soft dry grass, Eddie fell back too consequently, the side of his head on Richie's chest. Richies heart beat was fast and hard which confuses Eddie, his mind storming in a sea of annoyance, adoration and questions all clashing against each other as if fighting to get which of the word out sooner. Eddie cleared his throat to try and sound serious to Richie since that's all he could do. Only cut off by Richies almost silent laughter, the sudden movement he felt, Eddies body sprung forward on instinct more than want which eventually lead to the laughter from the other to grow louder with a growl of annoyance mixed embarrassment set in and hit like a bullet through the chest. His face heated up to a perfect dim red which was luckily hidden in plain sight from the darkness and the array of colors in the sky it almost looked planned, a perfect picture. </p><p>"Look at big balls Eddie, a little rumble didn't kill anyone" he spoke through his constant laughter, his voice laced with amusement and a secret guilt for laughing with Eddie. Eddie stayed silent before letting out a huff and laying back on Richies chest, un-knowing of the sudden flinch that the action that Eddie has done affected Richie, and yet his laughter continued for a minute or two before going to rest itself, Richie and Eddie silently looking up at the infinite sky with glimmers of hope while n their mind they shared the same thoughts. There was a rather long silence their eyes relaxed on the clouds while their ears were in awe of the sounds of nature. </p><p>"Hey,,Richie ?" He whispered, mentally slapping himself for sounding quiet and shy. Richie let out a grunt of acknowledgement, his eyes lazily moving to the boy laying on his chest as a small smile grew on his face once again. He felt it like a curse, every time he watched Eddie, hell, even a small side glance made a smile appear on his face even on the darkest moods. </p><p>"Do you think, in the big,,in-infinite space there's a place where you and I are together ? — not-not trying to seem, you know - just wondering is all" he rambled, feeling beads of sweat emerge on his forehead and Richie being caught off guard by such a question; however, rolling his eyes playfully even when it's not seen. A soft chuckle left Richie as he sighed. </p><p>"I mean- yeah I guess, but I don't know if we can find said place but yeah it should be out there,, somewhere" he spoke tiredly, his mind screaming on how that said place should be here, it should exist where they are. And even though they both feared the fake thought that they called reality that the other didn't share the same feelings, they locked it away deep inside them, or at least some of it. Words of affection came out from both of them at random moments of the day but each passed it off as friends being friends and that's that. No matter how much unemotional mutual pinning they did to one another, they had thoughts of the other feeling the same but the pent up frustration of not knowing if they truly did made the silence thicker. The night went on and on, an invisible clock watched them every second as Eddie slowly slipped into the sweet bliss of slumber, Richie however stayed awake, the soft breaths from his lips, his body only getting closer from the heat radiating from the others body and his arms wrapped around the lower part of Richies waist lazily yet desperately. Richies heart beats faster than a running man, harder than a beating drum to its holder as his eyes switch to the sky and Eddie more frequently as the silence was the only thing he heard. He soon felt the hit of drowsiness smack him into a slow process of slumber. </p><p>When he awoke however it wasn't where he thought he'd be he thought or at least hoped it be to the morning sun tingling his cold skin, heating it up slowly. Or the sound of his friends chatter next to the sizzled fire, snacks in hand and laughing, no this was different it was darker it was when he closed his eyes as well as the area was black and white unlike himself, being in full color, feeling like he stood out like a sore thumb in the dim and dreary world around him. It felt unsettling, it felt empty, it felt painful inside. He quickly shot up, expecting Eddie to wake up and complain; however, he wasn't even there. </p><p>Eddie wouldn't abandon me,, would he ?</p><p>Richie felt his tired legs sting slightly as he slowly got up, looking around at his unfamiliar surroundings, the dead air and the sound of a low pitch noise were the only things present other than his slowly heavier breathing he heard, his eyes anxiously dodging left and right as he took a deep breath, using everything in his will power to start walking and keep going, although his steps at first hesitant, he soon started walking through the saw things turn into mixes of light and dark grey hues that made the world seem more natural despite the loss of colors that drained out of them. Making it to the stream he heard a shriek, a high pitch, fearful shriek. It was enough to make the ground shake underneath him as he stumbled backwards like a weak rag doll on a shaky shelf. His fight or flight instinct hit his brain and he ran towards the noise,</p><p>These guys are probably fucking with me, maybe they gave me something that messed up my eyes ? And now are making me worry ??</p><p>He wanted to stop and go home, thinking that over and over as he stood in place mid way, his eyes fixed on the path from which the scream came from. He bit his lip angrily as he tapped his foot, not having enough time he rolled his eyes and ran toward the noise. He was going to have a talk with them after he saves their ass, he thought as the one voice now became multiple voices all crying for help only fueled his need to go and find out what the hell was going on. After he made it to another section of large trees, still no color as the ones before, more slumped back almost like grieving. The voices abruptly cut short into the air. His heavy panting only being the thing he heard other than the soft grass against his shoes. </p><p>"Guys?! Guys where are you ?? This isn't fucking FUNNY ! " he screamed into the nothingness of the forest, hoping for a reply that never came, the silence growing, as well as his fear growing in suit. His breaths gradually increased from anxiety deep inside him as it began to overwhelm him, turning his head and body swayed quickly in all directions in a hope that they would be there. But the moment he turned to look behind him for god knows how many times he saw a drained colored Eddie, but not the way he wanted to see him. His eyes were closed but leaked a black substance, a noose tightly wrapped around his fragile neck which dangled him over a bent branch enough for Richie to be face to face with him. The shock and grief swung at him, instantly large tears made his eyes go fuzzy and glossy as they cleared and flowed down his face. His body violently shook, almost to the point it was difficult to even stand. He let out a choked sob as he sped walked to Eddie. </p><p>"Eds — Eds why did you leave me — wh-y why Why WHY WHY WHY" he sobbed as he didn't even have the strength to touch him, he couldn't feel his body, he couldn't move at all he was glued in place by the weight of his world crumbling around him like a broken snow globe, spilling out all his emotions freely and fast. It felt like an eternity to him as he looked, but he saw eddies head move up slowly, not even opening his eyes once but Richie smiled slightly before it quickly wiped away from his face, as eddies head went up the marks from the strong rope showed, black liquid flowing every part of his neck that was free from the ropes harsh, strong grasp and splattering onto the grass underneath him. </p><p>"Richie — why did you leave me alone ? I don't want to be alone - you said you'd stay with me forever and you left me to die" Eddie spoke emotionlessly, no hurt nor happiness not even anger in his tone. Richies first few attempts to speak were failures as he felt his heart break more and more and the words never leaving his throat. </p><p>"I won't ever leave you, you know that eds — " Richie spoke with a fake smile to cover his fear and overwhelming sadness</p><p>"Then why did you leave me ? Why did you break your promise" Eddie spoke for the last time before the rope snapped, as soon as Eddie hit the ground he fell limp, motionless, showing no signs of life. Richie froze mode again as he looked down at Eddie, his knees buckled as he fell to the ground onto his shaking knees, quickly crawling through the grass to his dead friend. Wanting to hold him but his body wouldn't let him, he could only reach to him for a few long moments then holding onto his head, his fingers digging though his locks. </p><p>"No no no no no ! I just got you back - I - I can't - I can't loose you again !" He yelled to the corpse, more like himself being the online living thing there other than the grieving trees that surrounded them. More tears fall from his cheeks to his shaking knees, wetting his dark blue dirty jeans but he didn't care. The voices came back but they were louder, they only yelled his name, it rung in his head painfully like a dog whistle. He gripped his head harder hoping the voices would stop, muttering to make it end and to make it stop repeatedly. Soon everything went black and his eyes snapped open, his face feeling extremely damp as tears continued to fall from his face like waterfalls. The color was back, the sun hit his skin the way he hoped it would before the hell of which was his nightmare. Except all his friends were circled around him, Eddie being the first to hug him, a tight warm protective grip, it didn't take long for Richie to hug back, his arms wrapping around eddies waist and eddies around his neck, the others soon kneeling down and hugging their clearly upset friend. After a while everyone slowly parted from the warm embrace, handing him a cereal bar and sitting around him. Bill being the first speak up from the awkward silence. </p><p>"S-so wh-whu-what happens, Richie?"</p>
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